'Mock chastisement' part of culture

Children recently tried out some tapa making skills, inspired by the current exhibition 'Ko e Hala Hangatonu' at Aratoi. The theme was 'Ngatu - Your Place, your Home' and they made stencils of their pets, homes and other familiar things to transfer onto cloth.
I asked Tongan artist Ruha Fifita about her home country and what  visitors need to know about 'her place'. Ruha, now living in Brisbane, collaborated with Dame Robin White on the monumental tapa cloths at Aratoi, and grew up in a village in Tonga.
'The first piece of advice that comes to mind is to remember that being called 'fat' is more often than not a compliment rather than an insult!' she says.'When I get off the plane after being away and have been eating a bit more chocolate and cheese than usual, the first thing I hear is 'AUeee, Ruha! You gained weight!!' -  which more likely means something like ' You look like you were well taken care of'.
'Actually, my advice generally would be to be ready to laugh things off. Tongans find a wonderful sense of humor in mock chastisement!'. Just trust that people mean well and it's almost a sign of selflessness that everyone is fair game for jokes that bring joy to the collective.
'One of the unique and special aspects is the cherished memory I know I share with many people in Tonga of being asked to do a traditional Tau'olunga (dance). 
 
'I feel nervous but as soon as the music starts, I hear loud shouts and cheers from the crowd, then moments later I am joined on stage one by one by family and friends - brothers and male cousins dancing loudly behind  me and Grandma, fearless and joyful, proudly making the most noise of all!'
 
In Tonga this is what a performance is - a shared experience. The pervading sense and knowledge that the joy of one is the joy of all and the pain and sorrow of one is the pain and sorrow  of all  that we are inextricably and meaningfully connected to those around us.


 
'Robin White with Ruha Fifita: Ko e Hala Hangatonu: The Straight Path', until 15 November.